Life Skills

Powerful Lessons from Unexpected Teachers

Carla (8), Bocas del Toro player.

Carla (8), Bocas del Toro player.

While there are many lessons that coaches can teach their players, some of the best lessons we learn come from our teammates. Whether it be about having more effective communication or how to dodge better, these moments of mutual learning from our peers are special. At LtN programs in Bocas del Toro, Panama, these moments occur weekly! I would like to share one interaction between two of our players - Carla and Silas - that struck me as particularly heartwarming and supportive. 

About a month ago, our players and I were scrimmaging for the last part of practice. The teams were split boys vs. girls. After about 10 minutes of gametime, the boys were up by 3 goals. As we were resetting for a new face-off, I noticed that eight-year-old Carla had dropped her stick and looked on the verge of angry tears. 

When I asked her what was wrong, she managed to tell me through stifled tears, “Maria, we aren’t going to win. Boys are so much stronger and better than girls!” Instantly, my demeanor changed - I went from sympathetic to serious in a flash. We locked eyes and I informed her, “Carla, girls are just as good as boys. Please never think - even for a second - that you are not as strong or not as good as they are. That is simply not true.” Before she could respond to respond, Silas came over to where we were standing.

Silas (10), Bocas del Toro player.

Silas (10), Bocas del Toro player.

He held up his arm and flexed his muscle and said to her, “Carlita, feel my arm. Am I strong? Do I have any muscles? Nope! Now, feel Maria’s arm.” I made a muscle with my arm and let her gently squeeze it. Her face relaxed a little.

Silas continued, “Look how strong Maria is. She is so much stronger than I am, and she is a girl. See, boys are not stronger than girls. Girls can be even more strong!” As Carla sniffled away her tears, took a breath and nodded her head, I was shocked into awed silence.


No one had told Silas to do that - he chose to help his teammate with a very important life lesson all on his own. And it worked, for Carla picked up her stick and resumed playing. This time, she wore a smile on her face.

This exchange between Silas and Carla exemplifies the incredible power of mutual learning, the value of teammates who care for one another, and the opportunities for life lessons that our programs provide youth in the communities in which we work. Though this one happened to underscore the importance of gender equality - an element that is often lacking in Bocas culture - it is just one example of the many ways our players learn and grow together. Since then, I am very pleased to report that Carla’s confidence has soared and not once has she doubted her capabilities because of her gender.

Thank you Silas for being an awesome teammate!

— Maria, Panama Program Director